Why We All Can Learn from Clark Griswold!

The most wonderful time of year often brings unwelcome guests — stress, anxiety, depression and weight gain.  It’s not surprising.  We live in a time where everything moves at a fast pace – internet, cell phones, fast food, even our relationships with others is moving at the speed of light.   It is no wonder our holidays present a dizzying array of fast pace demands — parties, shopping, baking, cleaning and entertaining.  What about the personal expectations we place upon ourselves to do it all?   For anyone who saw Christmas Vacation with Chevy Chase, his character Clark Griswold was funny and likeable.  As much as we laughed at Clark a lot of us could relate to his frustration over trying to create the perfect Christmas while your Christmas tree is burning up in the living room.  

 

The first Christmas I owned my home I wanted to run around with a chain saw just like Clark.  My bathroom toilet was plugged and the shower curtain was in shreds on the bathroom floor, my entire kitchen had been rearranged by a well-meaning relative, my beautiful Christmas towel decorations that I had arranged just like Martha Stewart demonstrated on TV were bunched up wet on the floor and my Christmas wreath had been knocked off the front door so many times there were no more berries left on it, my dog had a broken foot when a clumsy relative stepped on it, there were not enough beds for everyone to sleep in and the air mattress pump was not working, and the straw that broke the camel’s back for me was when my elves that belonged to my Grandmother started on fire in my dining room and I was told there was no fire, someone burnt toast – all the while flames shot out of my dining room chandelier.  Did I handle it well?  Absolutely not.  I opened my front door and told my family to leave?  Needless to say nobody left.  Like Clark Griswold I found a way to salvage the Christmas and over the years we laugh about the first family Christmas in North Carolina.  

Every detail about my first Christmas in my first house is true.  I wanted the perfect Christmas.  I wanted to show my family a perfect Christmas, one they would never forget?  I did manage to accomplish that – no one has ever forgotten that Christmas.  Of course, they never use the word perfect when they talk about it.  They use words like “the Christmas Lisa went over the deep end” or “Remember when Mom threw everyone out of the house”, never have I heard the word perfect to describe that Christmas.  

The holidays were never intended for us to end up like Clark Griswold, a maniac on Christmas Eve with a chainsaw or like me telling relatives from out-of-town to get out of my house.  That was never the intention of the holiday season.  I believe everyone can have “Merry Christmas” without stress, anxiety, depression and destruction by following a few simple steps.  

 

 

NO EXCUSES

How many of you start skipping your normal routine somewhere around the second or third week in November?  Be honest?  I don’t have time to do my normal activities because I have to start shopping, baking, cleaning, or whatever else you feel needs to be done to create the perfect holiday.  If you begin to do that during the holiday season you are taking your first step to becoming a maniac with a chainsaw on Christmas Eve. 

Instead …..

Stay on your daily routine as much as possible.  This time of year gives us lots of excuses not to take our daily walk, attend our book club meeting, take a spin class, or just sit down and read a book.  Make it a point to stick to one part of your daily routine every day during the holiday season or try modifying it.  If you don’t have time to take your normal daily walk then shorten the walk or if you can’t make your book club meeting every week during the 6 to 8 weeks (depending on when you start feeling the holiday season start) then aim for making it to at least half of the meetings.  Not only will you feel less stressed during the holidays if you stay on your daily routine as much as possible --- it will be a lot easier to get back on track once the holidays are over. 

 

 

 You Are Not a Super Hero

 

 

 

 

This is supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year …. That means you are supposed to be enjoying yourself not running at the speed of light with the Marvel comic book characters.  You do not have to bake enough cookies to feed a platoon of marines, attend every party you are invited too, buy more than you can afford, decorate your house to rival Macy’s department store, send Christmas cards to everyone you ever met, and cook elaborate meals.  No wonder you start dreading Christmas before the trick n’ treater’s ring the doorbell on Halloween.  

Who made the rule you have to do it all to have a nice Christmas? Where is the cosmic rule book that states that?  When did stressing yourself out equal fun.  It obviously didn’t work for me when I was creating the perfect Christmas.

THE RULE OF TWO

Instead of doing things that stress you out choose two things you really love.  Maybe you love to bake and decorate, but you hate cooking elaborate meals.  That is something I can relate to.  Do you have a relative or friend that likes to cook and not bake?  My brother detests baking and decorating.  He loves to cook.   My brother does the cooking and I do the baking.  We split it up so we each are doing something we like and not viewing it as a chore.  

You don’t have to go to every party you are invited too.  There is no rule book that states it is mandatory for you to attend every Christmas party.  Pick your top two important ones – say no to the rest.  Take that time for yourself.  When the long winter months in January and February come along use those months to see the people whose party you missed.  Cramming everyone in one month is insane.  How about spreading it out throughout the entire year?  December is not the only month to get together with people you never see.  Here is another thing to consider … why are you only seeing people a certain time of year?  If you do not like to spend time with them during the year why force yourself to go to a party with them.  If you feel yourself start to feel guilty saying no to Christmas parties remember you can’t enjoy the holidays and take care of your family – if you do not take a few minutes for yourself. 

Only God is perfect

 

It’s not about being perfect – I wanted to have a Martha Stewart Christmas when I owned my first house.  Instead it turned out more like Griswold’s Family Christmas.  The holidays don't have to be perfect or just like last year. As families change and grow, traditions and rituals often change as well. Choose a few to hold on to, and be open to creating new ones.

The key to low stress is to plan yet remain flexible.  Set aside specific days for shopping, baking, visiting friends and other activities. Plan your menus and then make your shopping list. That will help prevent last-minute scrambling to buy forgotten ingredients. And make sure to line up help for party prep and cleanup.  More important than planning ahead is remaining flexible if the best laid plans fall apart.  

So you didn’t decorate every room in your house including the bathroom or send out any Christmas cards this year?  The world is not going to end.   I will bet if you take the time you saved not sending Christmas cards or decorating every room to spend with your family relaxing and laughing will be remembered more than any card you ever sent or any room you decorated.  It’s not about being perfect.  It’s about spending time with the ones you love.

 

Cousin Eddie Syndrome

 

 

Just like Clark Griswold we all have a “cousin Eddie” some of us have more than one.  They can be very difficult people to get along with and try our patience.  You don’t have to give them the power to ruin your Christmas.  Clark had the right idea when dealing with Eddie, he accepted Eddie as he was and made the best of a difficult situation.  Try to accept family members and friends as they are, even if they don't live up to all of your expectations. Set aside grievances until a more appropriate time for discussion. Christmas is not the time to discuss who got what in Aunt Edna’s will or why doesn’t Uncle Jack’s family ever have a Christmas at their house.  Try to be understanding if others get upset or distressed when something goes awry. Chances are they're feeling the effects of holiday stress and depression, too.

Don’t Create Your Own National Debt!

 

 

 

No one can forget in Christmas Vacation when Clark finds out he is not getting a monetary bonus, instead he is enrolled in the “jelly of the month” club.  Clark could have avoided his melt down had he made out a budget instead of spending money he didn’t have.  

Before you go gift and food shopping, decide how much money you can afford to spend. Then stick to your budget. Don't try to buy happiness with a bunch of gifts. We live in a world where we love things more than we love people.  As much as we try to say different our actions prove otherwise.  I am just as guilty.  

For years I have been left with a credit card bill every January that made my eyes bleed.  As luck would have it I would always have it paid off the following October only to run it back up again in December buying Christmas gifts.  I have found that the dolls, cd’s, and video games I bought my children don’t mean half as much as me taking the time to spend with them.  How many times has someone you loved passed and you thought I wished I would spent more time with them? After my Grandfather died, my Father was heard saying, “I wished I would have went golfing with him more” The gift of your time won’t put you into financial debt; however, it is the most precious gift you can give.

Before you blow your budget try these alternatives: If you have children try the three gift rule – the wise men brought Jesus three gifts for his birth.   Explain that is how you are going celebrate your Christmas.  Then after they open their presents on Christmas morning – rather than being grateful they are occupied with new toys actually get on the floor and play with those with them.  For extended family try a family gift exchange or secret Santa gift exchange – it’s not about the gift you receive but the fun you have at the exchange, and most importantly give the gift of your time.  The best memories in the world are not old presents – they are moments you spent with the people you love.

There is No Law that States You Have to Feel Happy!

 

 

The happiest time of year. Everyone is filled with joy, right? Wrong. Did you know that more people are depressed during the Christmas season than any other time of the year? Do find yourself feeling anxious and alone like the Grinch? If so, you are not alone.  

If someone close to you has recently died or you can't be with loved ones, realize that it's normal to feel sadness and grief. It's OK to take time to cry or express your feelings. You can't force yourself to be happy just because it's the holiday season.

Reach out. If you feel lonely or isolated, seek out community, religious or other social events. They can offer support and companionship. Volunteering your time to help others also is a good way to lift your spirits and broaden your friendships.

Seek professional help if you need it. Despite your best efforts, you may find yourself feeling persistently sad or anxious, plagued by physical complaints, unable to sleep, irritable and hopeless, and unable to face routine chores. If these feelings last for a while, talk to your doctor or a mental health 

professional.

There is Always Humor if You’re Open to it Rule!

 

 

Laugh!  NO matter how outlandish the situation LAUGH!  Clark Griswold in Christmas Vacation was a great example of this.  Remember the scene when Clark cuts the turkey and it is so dry there is only a *puff* of smoke! Rather than saying the turkey is ruined …. He went with a little dry and laughed.

Short-Term Benefits of Laughter

Stimulates Organs

Laughter increases oxygen-rich air, stimulates your heart, lungs and muscles, and increases the endorphins that are released by your brain.

Activate and Relieve Your Stress Response 

A good laugh fires up and cools down your stress response.  The end result a relaxed feeling.

Soothe Tension

·       Laughter can also stimulate circulation and aid muscle relaxation, both of which help reduce some of the physical symptoms of stress.

Long-Term Benefits of Laughter

Improve Your Immune System

·       Negative thoughts manifest into chemical reactions that can affect your body by bringing more stress into your system and decreasing your immunity. Positive thoughts actually release neuropeptides that help fight stress and potentially more-serious illnesses.

Relieve Pain

·       Laughter may ease pain by causing the body to produce its own natural painkillers. Laughter may also break the pain-spasm cycle common to some muscle disorders.

 

 

 Guilt Grinch

 

 

Always take a few minutes every day for yourself.  People always feel guilty about taking care of themselves especially during the holidays.  They feel they should be doing this Aunt Edna or running Uncle Jack here or doing that for kids, school, work, church and the list could go on --- we never feel we should do anything that takes care of us.  We have been taught it’s selfish to do things for yourself.  The truth is if we are not in a good place how can we be in a good place to help others.

Take control of the holidays

 

 

Clark Griswold wanted the perfect Christmas.  His biggest mistake was he didn’t take control of his situation.  By taking control I mean giving that control to fate.  He planned so much he left no room for imperfection.  Don't let the holidays become something you dread. Instead, take steps to prevent the stress and depression that can descend during the holidays.  Always remember when unforeseen things happen to be flexible and find the humor.  Learn to recognize your holiday triggers, such as financial pressures or personal demands, so you can combat them before they lead to a meltdown on Christmas Eve. With a little planning and some positive thinking, you can find peace and joy during the holidays.